BORING CONFERENCE TO TAKE PLACE YET AGAIN
– London’s ‘must-we’ event returns to Conway Hall this Saturday (May 9th)
– This year’s line up ‘will bring audience to a standstill’, organiser promises
The Boring Conference, the annual one-day celebration of the mundane, returns this Saturday with a series of presentations at Conway Hall.
Topics this year include ‘elevators’, ‘gasometers’, ‘Stratford shopping centre’, ‘camping on motorway roundabouts’, ‘diaries of ordinary people’, ‘quiet evenings in the Moriglen Care Home’ and ‘postcard depictions of Post Office Tower’.
Conference organiser James Ward said: “It’s a shame that this year’s conference coincides with Vince Cable and Billy Joel’s birthday, but having run the algorithm I’ve concluded that only one in 6,479 (rounded for simplicity) would see this as a clash, so I’ve decided to press ahead. Some may feel that this is a little reckless but then some people try to spoil things for everyone, so we’ll just leave it there, shall we?”
He added: “I had a call earlier in the year from a dentist asking about the date of the next boring conference. Imagine my amusement when it became clear that he thought my conference is about drilling. ‘No’, I said. ‘It has nothing to do with slowly drilling holes in a jaw or boring a hole in a skull. Nothing like that whatsoever.’ After I spent the next 90 minutes taking him through some of the recent presentations he finished the call in a state of some relief.”
He went on: “I’m asked often why I run these conferences. I suppose the answer stems from my childhood. When I was younger, my brother and I spent a long summer re enacting the bore wars. It was several years later that I realised that bore in this case was spelt ‘Boer’. I’d make some mistaken assumptions about how these wars might be fought and I won every battle. I haven’t seen my brother or my price label collection since that summer but I do think back fondly. In those carefree times it felt like every minute of every hour of every day of the summer would never end.”
He persisted: “The seating arrangement will be the same as last year’s, complying with British Conference Hosts’ Association guidelines, sections 4, 8, 9 and 358. I’ve made some changes to the brand of plastic cup that will available durin
– Enough –